I don’t log on to tumblr often anymore since im always doing a million other things.. but when I do, it is usually to express some deep concept about life. I don’t find the need to be on tumblr because thankfully I have people in my life whom I could have these deep conversations with. My life is just a busy one, as im sure ive tumblred about before.
Anyway, I have been thinking about something. A couple weeks ago, I realized that a lot of our imperfections, flaws, insecurities actually come from our parents parenting. As we grow up from children to adults, we tend to put our parents in pedestals, because they are our parents and we think they are wise in everything they do. But that is not the case, they are human, and no human is perfect, no parent is perfect. When we are children, our parents are our mentors and we agree to everything they tell us is right and wrong. Of course, a lot of positive attributes are gained from good parenting, but the biggest impact in our lives are those negative attributes, or lack of attributes that lead us to not be the “fittest”. I used to think, “that’s just the way I am”, or “why am I like this” and such… and when i really think about it, my own parents led me to become a certain way, a way that I didn’t exactly choose. While there is a lot of positive I have gained from my parents, there are definitely negative things and a lack of things. For example, my parents never taught me to defend myself, or be tough..it is something I have learned on my own. And that lack of being has bit me in the ass before.There are other several things that affected me, like my parent’s restricting me as I was growing up, but that is too long of a story.
Another thing is that, in my case, my parents are religious and I was brought up going to church often, “believing” that was the right way, since that was all I knew. Some parents also instill beliefs in us, beliefs that we don’t choose to believe.. but because our parents tell us it is true, we believe it for a long period of time. In reality, that is not really ourselves… we are actually living vicariously through our parents beliefs. Thankfully, I never really let religion get to my head. I became self-aware that I genuinely did not feel the catholic church in me, ( i guess you could say) though for a long time I would go to church just to please my parents, not because I genuinely wanted to. I do believe that one should gain some spirituality, but I don’t believe it should be forced upon. One should have the freedom to choose what comes natural to them.
Though i have had these thoughts for a long time, in reading the book “the four agreements” which I just started reading, these ideas were reinforced and is why i am expressing them. I have realized how my parent’s actions in parenting led me to be really unhappy though in their mind they were doing what was right. I am an adult now and all I could do is to acknowledge it, accept it, and move on. To an extent I control my own destiny and I am glad I have learned to challenge my believes and be a rebel, but the road has not been an easy one. All I can really say is to question your self, your way of being and see if it connects to the way you were raised. Also, challenge the beliefs that have been imposed on you, and really ask yourself, do I genuinely believe in this?
The Eiffel Tower. It felt so unreal to actually be there. Paris was BEAUTIFUL. I can’t wait to visit again <3
With my study abroad friends in the Tower of London. There you can see Tower Bridge!
My time in London this summer was amazing. 3 weeks was just too short of a time to truly enjoy it, but nonetheless was the most amazing, eye opening experience of my life. For years I longed for an experience like this and im proud to say that I made it happen.
London is such a beautiful city, there is SO MUCH history..its astonishing to see it all. The beautiful parks, the tube, the pubs, the patriotism, the night life, the people! This city is LIKE NO OTHER. It is so unique in its own way..its beyond brilliant! It was all such a great experience and am now inspired to go back to the UK and keep exploring. Also this is only the first of my many journey’s to come.